An Offering to the Tri Gods and Goddesses

"Hello? Is this thing on?!"

Dearest 11 readers. Thank you for following my ~fascinating~ blog. I'm a woman with needs. I need to know my aimless blathering is not falling upon deaf ears. So thank you for cyber stalking me. I promise I'll return the favor. Regularly.

Okay, onto the topic de jour: Success. And how the f can I get some?

I've been thinking about things, specifically how to be successful at triathlon. I believed the idea that if you commit your all and work hard, good results will come. Last season, I was going to see what could happen if I dedicated 110% of my life and intentions toward triathlon training. Was it true? Do those who work the hardest = bring home the bacon?

I started training November 1st. In these parts, I was known as the chick that trained my ass off. From November to May, I maybe missed 2 workouts. 7 days a week, 2-a-days for at least 6 of those days, often all 3 disciplines. I averaged around 20-22 hours a week. I also worked a 50+ hr work week. Needless to say, I didn't date (which my next blog may bemoan).

If I wanted to reach my goals, I needed to be more dedicated. "Success comes to those who don't miss a beat. And to those who are consistent." My 2007 season, I would miss workouts because I was tired (but feel guilty as sh*t). Peers who performed better- it was because "they worked harder." But in the big scheme of things, 2007 was my best season yet. Dare I say my only successful season. I PR'ed at every distance and reached speeds I didn't think were possible. How the f did I do that?

I still believe in the dedicated concept and see it work for people frequently. Triathletes' whose athletic successes I'm in awe of work hard. And they bring home the bacon. It seems like they never miss a beat and their race results are consistently impressive.

However, my hard work and dedication happened to blow up in my face last season. I can't tell you the heartbreak of "going all in" and busting in Vegas (Idaho). It seems like I can't win: want to do better and obtain your goals? Train harder. Be more disciplined. So I did. But I came home with the booby prize: Overtraining Syndrome, the knarliest of all: Stage 3 OTS.

May, the wheels blew off the car. I couldn't get out of bed. In the past 6 months, I've gone from vibrant, athletic, inspired, excited, hopeful, active Liz to sickly, often in bed, did I tell you about my latest ailment, turd Liz.

People get sick all the time but it was User Error (or maybe the manual I was following...) to end up like this. I still do not have a functioning hypothalamic-pituitary system nor an immune system to speak of.

Like in training, I followed orders. I've slept, eaten, and exercised as instructed. And let me tell you, for an athlete to not train in 6 months, it's been a very difficult protocol to follow. The booze protocol not so much. Every girl needs to have SOME fun!

So why? My training plan is child's play to many other athletes. Why did I get here and how can I reach my goals?

So tell me all 11 of you wise-cyber readers... how can I make this thing happen?

Rest more? Train less? Care less? And if you tell me that... please explain to me how to care less about something you need to care about in order to put in all that effort? Me no comprende.

There is one concept I'm musing about: being happy no matter the results. For Type A me, this is hard and inconceivable. I set objectives and work toward them. Do a sub-5 half iron. Work work work until I get there. Still not sure how to work work work and be okay with a 7 hour half. But I'm trying here.

Be happy no matter the outcome. Indulge in gratitude. Praise my performances as Rock Star no matter the take home. It seems counter-intuitive as a dedicated athlete but after this past year, I'm open to anything. I'll rub two magical stones together, throw salt over my shoulder, and chant "Om" if it's the path to my success. When you've been brought to your knees, you'll do just about anything.

A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Being sick sucks. So if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

B-Billion tri plans I have when I finally get healthy

E-Big E. The nickname my new boss gave me. I kinda like it. Very mobster of me.

I-ITunes. Just made a new mix. Holla! Can't wait to run with it. For now, it inspires cleaning.

N-New Moon movie. I'm just catching on. What's all this buzz?

G-Goddess blog. I need to find more interesting things to write about.

S-Schwah. Funniest nickname for my friend that's always forgotten. Read the book.

I-Indian food I ate tonight with amazing friends. At least 2 fart and 4 sex jokes. Success.

C-Curtains. Hot Pink curtains specifically. From Tarj'et. Home decor: black, white, pink.

K-Karlis. 1st name of my doc that I will now force to medicate me with drugs to increase my white blood count.

S-Sex. 

U-Unicorn. Code word my patients say instead of: "shut the f-up. you're upsetting me."

C-Christmas tree. White. How LA. It's from Tar'jet too. Already up and sparkling away.

K-Kisses from Roxy. Now I'm in bed more, she scores french kisses way often. Violating.

S-Sunset. Winter time it sets over the ocean instead of Malibu mtns. Palm trees frame it :)

Got a case of the Tri Bipolar

Should I stay or should I go now?

If I stay there will be trouble.

If I go there will be double...

So babe you got to let me know....

Should I stay or should I go??!

I've got the case of Tri Bipolar. On ONE hand- I'm tired and don't feel ready. I like the idea of training but not so much the follow-through. Um yea. Set up the trainer. Rode it for 40 minutes. Haven't been back on it since. I don't have the umph back. Oh yea, and I still get 2 week long colds. Advice from a super wise guy who himself came back from Overtraining Syndrome: get healthy. then wait another year before attempting Ironman again.

What you talkin about Willis?

On the OTHER hand- I don't want to be left behind. I want to train and race and play with my tri friends. Just not right now. But Ironman needs me to start training now. And no, there's no "just finish." I'm in it to win it. Okay not really but I'd like to PR.

Did I really dig a hole so deep that it will take a year and a half to come back to the thing I love the most?

I heart you tri. I miss you. Why are you so hard to figure out?

Inspiration from the Sidelines

Today I'm grumpy pants. November 1st has come and things haven't changed. More time. I've been arguing with life today about "what is" verses what "should be." I should be healthy. I should be able to train. I fear having to watch another tri season from the sidelines.

Oh help me Tom Cruise. Help me Oprah!

Most of our suffering comes from our refusals to accept what is. We are here now. The past is long gone, either good or bad, it no longer is. What we have is right here and now, our next step. I can't be anywhere else but where I am at this very moment.

I'm sick. I can't rush the healing process. I have done all I can to hunt down treatment options. I can only continue on this path and be patient. I'm not able to be a triathlete right now. This likely won't be forever but I may indeed have to forgo my race entries to CA70.3 & IM CDA. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

So I'm looking here and now. And forward.

How To Love Your Life's Path

• Accept and love yourself first. No matter what you are working toward in life or what you think your purpose is, the best way to fulfill your dreams and reach your goals is to love yourself. According to one Buddhist saying, "You cannot travel the path until you become the path itself." If you want to love the path you're on, you have to love you, your very being. This is the driving force behind your life's purpose. This is the first step to making peace with your life and loving the path you're on.

• Let go of your (good or bad) past. When your mind is wandering constantly back to the past, you are not really moving forward or embracing the present moment. You are stuck in one spot, looking backwards. Remind yourself that the past -- whether it was good or bad -- is over. You cannot go back there and you will never again be the person you were in the past. You are You now, and the person you are now is the person you must focus on. Reliving scenes from the past wastes time and energy that could be spent focusing on the path you're heading down. Learn from your past, love your past (if you can), but let it go. You may need the lessons, but you don't need the baggage. Drop right now on the path and keep on moving.

• Believe in power of our life. Whatever our purpose, it is part of a collective purpose, a universal state of living that we are all experiencing. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions contribute to life. We have a part in influencing the course of human nature. Be grumpy and notice how people are influence by our negativity. Live positively and see how our energy can ignite those around us. Those people interact with others, and others, and others. Embrace our influence, no matter how small the thought or deed.

Watch your thoughts for they become your words.

Watch your words for they become your actions.

Watch your actions for they become your habits.

Watch your habits for they become your legacy.

• Stop worrying about the future. We don't know if the future will ever come, so what are we getting so worried about? Okay, I know it's not that simple. There are things to do, people to see, places to go. The future is there. We know it's probably coming. But the more we worry and stress about it, the less we are enjoying the present moment (the only thing that's truly guaranteed). If we're not living in the present, we're not really loving the path you're on. We're looking for something better or different in the future and, really, there's no sense in that. Stay in the now as much as we can. Don't look to the future as a place where we'll someday be happier or wealthier or better. You are, just as you are right now, perfectly you and that's just what and where you need to be.

• Love what your life is right now. Most of us can't say that with 100% certainty, we love our life as it is right now. But why not? Why can't we love everything as it is right now? What's stopping us from accepting that the life we are living right now is our perfect, ideal life? There is nothing better for us out there other than what we are are experiencing right now. When we think that our life is unfolding just as it should, that nothing is a mistake, and that everything is happening for a reason, we are much more at peace with ourselves and the world. If we love our life as it is now, we don't have to revisit the past. We also don't have to wait hopefully for the future. We can be here, now, happy.