dating is fun.
sometimes.
da playa'
they're cute but oh so bad. stay far far away. why are the fun good-looking charming ones always so evil?
needy
at first it's sweet. then it's smothering. then it gets creepy, and fast. they seem so emotionally available and then you find out... they REALLY are! within the second date, you feel yourself getting sucked into a relationship, a marriage, and a lifetime together for ever and ever and ever.
(no relevance. just for shits and giggles.)
the holic-phobe
as in the workaholic, commitment-phobe. also see: good on paper.
good on paper
ahh. this one gets me. they come with papers but that's about it. they got the right degrees, the right schools, the right looks, the right job... but they just can't offer the total package. usually something significant is missing like the ability to think about someone other than themselves. bummer.
won't take no
pushy pushy. they have an opinion and don't know when let it go. they think if they keep at it, you'll change your mind. they can't read subtle clues and keeping going despite kindly assertions. they think they're cute and charming, demonstrating how smart and cunning they are, but meanwhile they've completely turned you off and have no clue.
nerd alert
good intentions but stiff. almost lacking social skills. unfortunately, these guys have also been easy on the eyes. so cute but oh so boring. why can't they drop the formalities and laugh at a lowly common denominator joke? here's a tip boys: citing research during conversations = snooze fest.
flaky mcflakerson
also known as: dating in LA. everything is changing and constantly on the go. they live life in the fast lane and gotta move as quickly as their twitter updates. they have places to go and people to meet. nevermind i haven't return a phone call in ages. they keep sending texts inviting me to "mansion parties in hollywood hills."
mr. groper
okay so the dates have gone well but good lord this guy likes you. a lot. he moves fast and while he's not putting out the slutty vibe, he has loose boundaries as in, too much too soon. he finds little ways to put a hand on your knee or hug extra longer. seriously medusa. your snake hands need a benzodiazapine.
the sweet doormat
this guy is nice. he opens doors, he compliments you. he finds you funny and talented. he thinks you're amazing and treats you accordingly. but he's toooo sweet, like a gobstopper that keeps going and going. he's just happy to have you by his side. there's no sarcasm, no teasing, no play. there's no spark unless you bring the fire. you want to like him but the thought of kissing him induces visions of incest. not cool.
what about the one that seems perfect--not on paper necessarily, but when you meet him. So funny, down-to-earth, quips with the best of them, sexy, smart. You fall and just when you do he doesn't return your call. He emails back a week later and says something like where have you been? And sucks you in again. You fall for it. And then he doesn't email back for eons. and so on. and so on.
ReplyDeleteLater you learn that he was seeing 5 girls at the same time he was seeing you.
What about that special type? ;)
the player.
oops. I guess you covered him in #1. :)
ReplyDeleteOh yea... that kind is KNARLY!! I would actually put that type of guy in the "playa" category as well as the "mr. hollywood." LA is notorious for that type of date, both men and women!
ReplyDeleteYOU crack me up!! :)
ReplyDelete