While I have had quick-ish triathlon transitions, this life one is going a lot slower. Being an athlete has been a major part of my identity for the past 8 years. It has brought me friends, a community, a passion, something to geek out on (numbers, facts, info, gadgets). It also gave me strong muscles, achievements I never thought were possible, and a new sense of humor (nothing's off the table when it comes to triathlete conversations).
I was talking with my uncle over the holiday. "In my mind and heart, I'm still an athlete. My body's not quite there yet." He replied with a chuckle, "Yea me too.... I'm still an athlete in my head also."
He quit running years ago.
Then it hit me... I'm not the person I once was. Does 7 months of no physical activity mean I'm no longer an athlete? Do I need to start saying, "Yes... Once upon a time I did one of those iron-thingys."
At what point does the transition happen? When does a person go from athlete, to wanna-be jock, to jockless?
There are 5 stages of change one goes through before making a change, particularly a big one like giving up smoking, a relationship or one's former identity as an aspiring elite triathlete.
Precontemplation is the stage at which there is no intention to change behavior in the foreseeable future. Many individuals in this stage are unaware or underaware of their problems.
Contemplation is the stage in which people are aware that a problem exists and are seriously thinking about overcoming it but have not yet made a commitment to take action.
Preparation is a stage that combines intention and behavioral criteria. Individuals in this stage are intending to take action in the next month and have unsuccessfully taken action in the past year.
Action is the stage in which individuals modify their behavior, experiences, or environment in order to overcome their problems. Action involves the most overt behavioral changes and requires considerable commitment of time and energy.
Maintenance is the stage in which people work to prevent relapse and consolidate the gains attained during action. For addictive behaviors this stage extends from six months to an indeterminate period past the initial action.
Then it hit me. I've been in denial about making a life change with the reality of my health. I have been in "precontemplation" if you will. I thought by January, at the latest, I'd be ready to hit the ground running again. This is not the case. Only now am I starting to realize I need to seriously change my life so that I can get fully healthy again.
These are the changes that will be required of me to replenish da' adrenals and work through the chronic fatigue/overtraining syndrome.
Health Choices
Quit alcohol. (insert tears)
Quit coffee. (insert wailing sobs)
Go to bed by 10:30pm at the latest (cake. i'm used to it from IM training)
Limit exercise to walking. Anything will put me in the hole again. (eyes watering again)
Eat organic and drink purified water. (costly but whatevs)
Eliminate canned, processed foods. (Buh-Bye Campbells Soup. will miss your salty easy meal in a can).
Focus diet on veggies, fruits, proteins, complex carbs. No sugar. (do it anyway)
Triathlon Choices
Start wrapping my mind around either not racing/doing a really slow half iron at CA 70.3 and WF long
Start to embrace that I can't "race" IM CDA. Either DNS or embrace a long, slow, (fun?) day.
Accept that I may never reach my triathlon potential.
Accept that I may have to manage CFS for the rest of my life.
Keep reminding myself that if I let go now, the sooner I can return.
Remember: Just because I'm letting go now doesn't mean I'm letting go forever.
Continue to learn how and when to push and when to back off and rest. (no clue. just know: push).
Spiritual Choices
Start to identify and express myself in other ways (photography, meditation, date)
Be vigilant of my stress levels and immediately work to reduce tension. (deep breath)
Be more assertive and rid my life of any "energy suckers" (situations or people)
Embrace this period in my life in which I must rest and replenish, be gentle and easy, kind and free.
While this health crisis has been life-changing, shaking my identity and beliefs to the core, it hasn't been without purpose. There are no such things as "lost moments." So here's to learning the lessons, embracing the journey, and laughing along the way.
on the last day of my drive from east to west. in the car were 2 dogs, 2 bikes, 2 chairs for my dining table, a large mirror, my mattress topper, a huge duffle of clothes, a new mix, my trusty garmin, beef jerky, and an excited attitude. i embraced the change and will continue to do so while i'm lost in transition.
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